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The Proposition Comedy/Drama 00:06:56
Logline: A stoner tries to convince his ex to not marry the wrong man. Director: Richard Baldomero, Joshua A. Cohen Writer: Joshua A. Cohen Producer: Joshua A. Cohen
This was our cheapest film ever, shot in one night for under $100.
------------------------------------------------ FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
JASON and DARLA lounge around on a couch, smoking a joint. They pass it back and forth, taking drags and holding it in.
DARLA Thanks.
JASON So when do you want to fuck?
DARLA I don't.
JASON Oh, come on.
DARLA Jason, I'm not in a dick-kinda mood right now.
JASON Oh, please.
DARLA Even if I were, I couldn't.
JASON You raggin'?
DARLA No. But I've got enough gas to power a small engine.
JASON Nice. Very lady-like. (beat) You know I'm gonna make a dishonest woman out of you some day.
DARLA You're high.
JASON Well, yeah, but I still want to fuck you.
DARLA Go stick it in a blender.
JASON Will you drink it when I'm done? 2.
DARLA You're a sick boy. Get some help.
Jason looks at her engagement ring.
JASON You know 50% of marriages end in divorce.
DARLA So?
JASON The other 50% end in death. If those are the only 2 inevitable conclusions, why would you ever want to get married?
DARLA It's what you do with the time until then.
JASON You know that's not really an engagement ring.
DARLA Really? What is it then?
JASON That's a "fuck me" ring. Women are wearing "fuck me" rings on their ring fingers nowadays.
DARLA Your sentiments are so touching... in a pedopheliac kinda way.
JASON Come on. Just once more... for old time's sake.
DARLA Jason, we are not having sex tonight.
JASON What, you think he's gonna find out? Does your pussy have an odometer on it.
DARLA If it did, I wouldn't get much mileage out of you.
Beat. 3.
JASON You know you can't marry him.
DARLA Why not?
JASON He's a narcisexual. The only person who can turn him on is himself.
DARLA I can live with that.
Beat.
JASON And what about his ex?
DARLA I don't want to talk about it.
JASON What's so upsetting about it?
DARLA I just can't believe he still has her letters!
JASON Don't you still have all my letters?
DARLA Of course! But that doesn't mean anything!
JASON It doesn't?
DARLA No! It's normal for women to keep old letters. If men do it, that means she really meant something to him.
JASON So because it shouldn't mean anything to him, the fact that he has them means it does mean something.
DARLA Exactly. (beat) Do you think I'm a bitch? 4.
JASON Noooo, of course not. (beat) You act like a bitch sometimes.
DARLA I don't mean to.
JASON Oh, really? It just comes naturally?
DARLA Shut up.
JASON Well, even if you do marry him, I'll be able to sleep well know that I've had my tongue inside you.
DARLA Is that all I meant to you?
JASON No, of course not. I'm just trying to get you to think about sex and my ginormous man-trunk, and hopefully you'll want to have your last pre-marriage fling.
DARLA Is having sex with you the only way I'm going to get you to shut up?
JASON Pretty much.
DARLA Alright, fine. Just make it quick.
JASON That's definitely something I can do.
Darla finds a long blond hair in the couch.
DARLA Huh. Must be one of my pubes.
JASON You know I broke a woman's vagina recently.
DARLA Shut up, douchebag. 5.
JASON Seriously. She had to go to the emergency room.
DARLA You're full of shit.
JASON Yeah, I'm vain... but I have a right to be.
DARLA The only thing you have a right of is a big bend in your dick.
Jason snears.
DARLA (CONT'D) Will it make you feel better if you call 911 before we start?
JASON Probably... for your safety. What's the number?
DARLA I don't know.
JASON Why don't we call 411 and ask.
DARLA K. What's the number?
Beat.
JASON You know, you and I are actually meant for each other.
DARLA Maybe. But I don't want to think about it right now.
She lays her head on his shoulder. He strokes her hair and takes another hit.
FADE OUT.
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In Production:
Completed:
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